Last night was one of the scariest of my life. I woke up at 12.56am to go to the loo. I switched on the light at the toilet and lo an behold- there was a cockroach by the bathroom mat. It was the size of my foot and I am convinced it was quietly waiting to pounce on me. I stared at it for five mins- I kid u not here. Half feeling the need to look away coz my eyeballs were going all 'geli' just looking at it and half afraid that if I turned my back on it, it was gonna come after me and crawl into my ear and eat my brains. After the long five mins spent squabbling with the voices in my head- look away!! dont look away!!- I reached on my dresser for the only thing within my reach that was heavy enough to squash it with (ambitious ok), a large bottle of baby powder. Then I realized that it could very easily climb onto the powder bottle before I could squash it and it would crawl all d way up the bottle and onto my arms before crawling into my ear to eat my brains. I figured that I needed to be a level higher so I could throw it onto the thing and looked around again and the only thing that was light enough for me to grab was the single seater chair (that was sposed to be my breastfeeding chair).
By now I had been watching the huge beast for close to ten minutes and I was sure it wasnt gonna move anytime soon. No, it enjoyed torturing me too much. It was so still even its antennae wasnt moving. I pushed the heavy chair accross the bedroom and at one point I noticed hubs's head popping up and watching me with a 'WTH' look. We proceeded to stare at one another for a few seconds with me trying to telepathically send him an SOS and he was trying to figure out if he was dreaming of his wife doing crazy things at this ungodly hour or if his wife really was nuts. I finally went 'TOLONG I KOTT!!!'. I said 'For once please kill it instead of catching it and releasing it somewhr bcoz it knows whr I live and it WILL COME BACK!!!!. He took the talcum bottle and squashed it!! EEEWWWWW!!! I heard the crunch of its body and when hubs was done I saw the bug juice stain on the floor. EEEEWWW EEEEWWWW EEEEEWWWWW!!! I fell asleep two hours later, still trying to erase this horrible memory from my mind.
I woke up at 6am and proceeded to the bath with my phone. I wanted to snap a pic of the dead beast to share with all u guys. Imagine my horror when I couldnt find the body!!!!! I felt like I was in a murder movie where the good guy kills d baddie then goes to call the cops and comes back to find the dead bad guy gone!!!! I finally located it inside the toilet lying face up and its freaking antennae were STILL MOVING!!! I swear these guys will survive a nuclear attack if it ever happened. I took my heavy body scrub jar and threw it on top of it and when hubs headed in for a shower- it was still bloody alive. I would have C4-ed it if I had any. I asked hubs to flush it, but I'm regretting it now. What if it comes back and bites me in the butt- literally!!!
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| Look at the size of that thing!! I almost very nearly died!! |
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